Book of Empress
by Alta Grey
Summary: "'What do you see when you're in the dark, and the demons come?"
1. Chapter 1

Note to readers: Rating: M (respectively as the anime is of the same nature. Note that M is for 16+)

'What do you see when you're in the dark, and the demons come? ' from _In the Line of Fire_ (1993)

Chapter 1: All the King's horses and all the King's men.

I awoke in a daze. wondering about aimlessly for a day or two. what mattered now was not how I got there but that I got to my destination in at all. The primal, gut-wrenching, need for me to see him once again scorched itself through my existence. I knew that the world in which I was living now is so much different from what I knew. Home was not my home any longer. I accept that it's the only thing I am unable to change.

All that mattered now was to see my beloved. from what I've learned of love, however, is that it is a double-edged sword indeed. I could sense that he was no longer mine to keep and I did not want to overstep that boundary. however still my heart ached for the times we had spent together and I longed oh how I longed for the day I could meet him again.

After all, this was my country. Was being the primary objective now. Now I had not even an inkling of power in me. Now I was nothing. Nothing without him. if I could somehow win him back then I could gain some of my sanity back that I was my goal at hand and nothing was going to stop me from attaining that goal.

Of all places, I would never have thought to end up at a traveling show, a circus. there was a kind of simplicity or rather a homely style that I liked about it. I was nervous. Without a doubt, people would figure out who I was. Maybe somehow that would matter to the outcome of my goal but I'd say just to put that on that back burner, for now, would suffice. I wonder how long he has been here? In this kind of place. the way he used to be you wouldn't catch him dead in a place like this. I wasn't too fond of it either but this was my only chance.

I wonder if he'd recognize me at all? I know that we'd have to rekindle our relationship but nothing would be too hard for us right? We've been through hell and back, literally. Alright, all I have to do is just waltz in there and take it by the scruff. I was nervous and a little jumpy. I walked in like nobodies business. various people looked at me and stared at me. Was it that painfully obvious that I did not belong there?

In the center of the large tent was a man, most likely he was the ring leader. everyone stopped what they were doing and directed their attention towards me and the ring leader. The ring leader looked somewhat startled. but welcomed me anyway.

"Hello there Miss, It seems that you've wandered into the show too soon i'm afraid. The proper show begins tomorrow. see?" he directed me to a flyer.

"Oh no, I'm not confused, Sir. I wanted to audition for your traveling circus." the first step is always the hardest right?

"Oh! Pardon me, why of course the more the merrier! We'll just have to squeeze you into the new recruits today. Let me introduce you to Smile and Black." When I saw his face I knew it was him. various emotions welled up from deep inside me, anger, joy, despair,regret, longing. It all hit me like a ton of bricks enough so that I was speechless for a few moments. I smiled at them and shook their hands.

He hasn't said anything yet. Who is that young boy with him? I understand the boy is his. He always wanted a boy. I'm glad that he can be happy in that way. My audition went well. I performed numerous circus acts that I didn't even know I had in me. I'm best at using aerial silks, baton twirling, and acro dancing. If I put my mind to it, it was simple. The only challenge I face now is confrontation.

I can do this. It's not like anything bad is going to happen. I directed myself to his tent and took a deep breath to waste time. I was undeniably nervous. I twitled my thumbs and played with my hair. His voice spoke up in that very moment, " I know you're out there. Come in, the boy is not with me."

I gulped harshly and looked about me to see if anyone was staring at me. I'm certain that women were not allowed in these parts of the recreation area. I came in and he looked similar to how I remembered him only his hair and attire were different. He opened his mouth to speak but I was the first to interject, "It's been so long, Henry."

"Has it? It seems as if it were only yesterday that I met you. Pardon my harshness but Henry is not my name now. In this traveling circus, it is _Black_ so I do ask you to address me as such. However, when I am in the presence of the boy he may slip up and call me by my formal name Sebastian. Once this troop is over it will be acceptable to use that name as well. Of course only if you get that far in the chess game my dear." He rose from his lounging position and encroached upon my personal space, not that I apposed it.

He touched my neck gingerly as if it would break, running his fingers over the ribbon I had on my neck. He brought his face close to my neck. "What a familiar smell. Sulfur. How typical of a Persephone to have that aroma. You must hide that here. If you wish I'll fetch you some perfume?"

"Wouldn't that break the rules? Besides, I'm perfectly capable of purchasing something as trivial as that on my own." I said to him.

"I've never been one to follow the rules, but as you wish."

"No one's looking. Please just kiss me, Henry. I mean Black."

"Sorry to disappoint you but I believe that agreement between us has been nullified." He said brushing his lips just barely across my eager neck.

"Damned tease."

"For the moment, I have nothing for you. I suggest you get back to your quarters before they check the tents." As I was leaving he spoke again.

"And Anne, Just because I can't love you doesn't mean I still don't," He said it with a sincere smile. I couldn't see his face but I felt that he was smiling at my back. I whispered _I know_ to where only he could hear it as a solitary tear fell to the ground.

Chapter 2 coming soon! :)


	2. Chapter 2

Note to readers: Rating: M (respectively as the anime is of the same nature. Note that M is for 16+)

"People do incredible things for love, particularly unrequited love."

-Daniel Radcliffe

Chapter 2: At Daylight, She Shines.

It was cruel being able to sleep well in this place. Considering the betrayal, I had witnessed last night by my only ally. However, I was used to betrayals, and these things were common by him. So what was I sulking over? Getting all worked up for something that was _expected_ of him? How shameful of me to stoop so low! Maybe that was the straw to break the camel's back, as they say.

By morning it was peaceful, I took every breath savoring it and the earthly air sweetening my lungs.

"Must you so ravenously take a breath? Hell isn't all that bad once you get used to it." He taunted me bringing his lips close to my ear.

I jolted away from him in my fright and disgust at my lover's harsh words. " I don't ever intend to go back to that place, I'll let you know, even if you yourself were to drag me there with you. I love you more than I can put into words, but likewise, I am terrified of that place in the same way."

He smirked at me. "We'll see in due time." A challenge, how like you to give me one. The words they irked me so but no matter how much I try I can't hate you. I love you too much, yet I barely know you now. I didn't follow him to the mess tent, even though I was indeed hungry. I couldn't bear to think of being in the same room with him. If you think of it as a precious piece of jewelry that was once yours, is now on another's neck.

Hunger is the least of my worries, and it was not unlike I had never gone hungry before. This was nothing compared to the years I had spent pent up in Hell. Today was the day I would practice for the big show coming up in a few days. Also, it was the day when I was to meet all of my subordinates. Most likely I will meet the boy, Ciel. I wonder what he is like? My stage name has not yet been chosen, will it fit me perfectly?

I breathed to clear my head and at the sound of nearby fluttering birds I turned to them. I thought something so trivial as birds in flight could make me feel such nostalgia. This is my second chance I need not squander it. Through sweat, determination, and swallowing my numerous anxieties I performed as best I could in front of my subordinates turned audience. With no previous experience in any of this, what did I look like to them? I tugged on the silk which was tied tightly to the rafters. Doll taught me the Double Pencil technique and I repeated it with flawless beauty. A rush of blood to the head, and I was facing the floor, my head an inch off the ground. My hair with the aerial silks was probably my best attribute. It flowed and bended with my movements, now it lay on the ground long and still. My arm outstretched to reach the floor, I could just touch it but I left myself suspended by the silk. I let myself be this personification of a failure, being so close to attaining my goal with just this one arm, my fingers sprawled in a tragic showcase. Could they see my heart in my hard work? All of this would judge my stage name. by the end of my performance the only thing that snapped me out of a daze was the sudden applause of the ring-leader, Joker's hands.

"Very Well done Lass! Exquisite beauty in your dance and a faint bitter sweetness. All the more to add to the beauty no?" The crowd joined in, some robotically others more of a genuine nature. Henry's eyes met mine again and I could feel them piercing through my heart, making my breath shallow and short.

"I think I've decided on a name for ya Lass. How about? Persephone? Fittin' yeah?" he said gleefully to myself yet loud enough to be announced to all. Was I that painfully obvious? I couldn't help but blush and turn my face away from him. I had no name in Hell. Instead I was forced to be one of the many concubines of the Devil. Every second I spent writhing in all kinds of pain. My death just wasn't enough for you was it Henry? I loathed being another man's entertainment. I felt like a caged and mistreated bird. Henry, if given the chance would you treat me as you once did?

Somehow I know that you wouldn't keep your promise of love to me even now as I stare at you. Black, Sebastian, Henry, Fallen Angel; I care not what your name is, all I have ever longed for is your love. Is it too much to ask? For things to be sweet as they once were? I gave you everything I could. I tried so hard, put my life on the line not once but on multiple occasions, and still you battered me with your idealism of a son. It was not my fault! Now I see him, a boy, young. They call him Smile. Was he yours? Or did he come from another man? It makes me happy that you finally have what you want but God! Oh how it tears at my heart! I wanted to be the one to give you your desires!

Smile was a frail looking boy but in his eyes you could tell he was either strong or cold. His eyes they remind me of my own, dear boy, what has happened to you? In that moment I felt pity and hate that would be my undoing in my second life. I must keep my best foot forward at all times, I mustn't let the competition gain on me any longer. _Henry, can you hear me?_ _This means war, my love_. From our distance he mouthed the words _loud and clear_.

Reader's note: I deeply apologize for the hiatus; it shouldn't be a problem anymore even though I'm in the final stretch this semester. Oh the joys of college life. (my inner self: *Kaneki-kun!*) Please pray if you are a praying people, for Orlando, my hometown.


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